Friday Fictioneers * Rochelle Wisoff-Fields * Photo Prompt by J. Hardy Carroll *
“Motherland Initiation” * 100 words * Angela Shaffer * 8 Apr 2016
Motherland Initiation
Cali choked down senior sorrows and put on a brave face. Pennsyl-tucky, Mother called it, with a laugh and a snort. Determined to make the best of a bad hand, Cali followed the scrawled directions. She wasn’t prepared to see the building that haunted her dreams looming ahead. Nor did she find the welcome comforting.
“You’ve finally come,” hissed a voice like razors, slight on her neck.
“The doctor’s been looking for you.”
Cali struggled but found her arms secured.
Laughter from the dark, …a prank.
… but that didn’t explain her déjà vu or the organic pull towards the darkness.
***
Hello Fellow Writers and Readers ~
As always, special thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for a mini-break from reality with Friday Fictioneers. Thanks this week to J Hardy Carroll for the interesting photo prompt. I can’t wait to read everyone’s take!
If you’re new to Friday Fictioneers, click the Blue Frog below to read and contribute.
curiouser contemplations 
Ooooo oh oh, creepy… Hope she’s ok.
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I think the prank will pan out all right, but the mental issues…I don’t know, slippery slope of sanity.
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A beautifully crafted atmosphere of menace from threats we don’t understand
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Right on, thank you Neil!
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Very well crafted, leaves the reader wondering about so much. I hope there is more to the story!
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I had more, but cut a good bit of the backstory. I still could have constrained a bit more to get more in, but…it’s been a full few days. Thank you for the comment!
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Good piece. I felt myself shrinking away quietly before your antagonist noticed me. Yikes.
Tracey
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Perfect <>…extra scary part is that antagonist might be lurking in Cali’s mind
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I love all the unaswered questions in this piece. Really dark and mysterious.
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Thank you, Claire. Even though I could go on, I like that there is room for subjective interpretation, to really invoke one’s inner fears.
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Wow,scary. Finding your nightmare place and find they are waiting for you, in an asylum, this is a frightening thing.
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I need more than a 100 words, there’s so much more about Cali. It seems almost maddening to confine this story – may deserve a revisit when “I have free time” lol. Thanks for the comment, MandiBelle!
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This is the stuff of nightmares. Very scary atmosphere.
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Excellent<>…glad I could chill you.
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Made me wonder what was next. Yikes! Nice work!
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Super story, well written and intriguing. Well done. 🙂
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Well written and scary.
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Dear Angela,
Well written and mysterious.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think Mother might not realize completely what’s happening here. This sounds a bit otherworldly. I think Cali has a reason to be frightened. Well written, MW. —– Suzanne
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